


Love is only a word

by xxxshuaholic (meclanitea)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, actor! Jun, college kid! Wonwoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-01 19:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12711684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meclanitea/pseuds/xxxshuaholic
Summary: Wonwoo's first love started with a confession in broken Korean, hand holding under a night sky, and stolen kisses at the back of the bus. It ended, however, with an unexplained goodbye and angry words shouted to the sky.Five years later, Wonwoo sees Junhui again. Not face-to-face, but on a TV screen.A post-break up actor! Jun x college kid! Wonwoo AU.





	1. I remember you

**Author's Note:**

> This fic's idea has been in my mind since the release of BTOB's Missing You (whose album I highly recommend for you to check out) but it's been pretty hard to write. It has been made easier by the support of my friends (you know who you are) and the massive help of my beta [@averyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/averyblue/pseuds/averyblue) (please read her mx fics!). Thank you guys <3
> 
> Sort of warning?? The book that will be introduced here is based on the manga Basara by Yumi Tamura. It's only really the basic premise that happens in the first couple of chapters but nonetheless it might be 'spoilery'. Beyond that though, everything is entirely made up by yours truly.
> 
> Rated for cursing. That's pretty much it, lol. More tags to be added as I update.  
> EDIT: Not sure if I will continue this fic or not but I won't be taking it down for the mean time.
> 
> Anyway, hope you have fun reading! Despite what it sounds like, I'd say that it's only light angst, but meh, you decide haha

 

_“I remember you! You’re the one from the Rock Joint. You disappeared before I had the chance to say thank you.”_

_(Nari to Daejung, Chapter 10)_

 

 

Rushed steps. Haggard breathing. A pained expression.

Wonwoo feels his smile fade. He doesn’t recognize the boy in front of him. He’s never looked hurt like this before. Wonwoo hears the drumming of his heart and he somehow finds it hard to breathe.

“I’m leaving.”

His heart drops. He unexplainably just knows that what this person means is that he isn’t coming back.

“W-why?” he chokes out.

He sees the other boy start speaking but somehow he can’t hear anything - no, he refuses to hear anything. What is going on? Why doesn’t he know?

It doesn’t feel like they’re surrounded by people and laughter and music and cheers even though the sounds are deafening. It’s like the world has gone silent and everyone else is gone, like they’re the only two people in the world at that moment. The air is tense and heavy and Wonwoo feels like he’s suffocating.

The other boy has stopped talking and simply turns his back at him. Wonwoo suddenly feels possessed by some kind of force and reaches out to the other boy, his fingers gripping the boy's arm tightly.

“Don’t go,” he whispers, tears stuck in his throat.

The boy looks back at him but Wonwoo can’t see his face and everything fades to black.

 

-

Wonwoo wakes up. He blinks - once, twice - before closing his eyes again. He opens them slowly, letting himself adjust to the sunlight streaming through his curtains. After breathing out his sleepiness and rubbing the bleariness from his eyes, he finally sits up, and stretches his neck and arms. As he collects his thoughts, awareness settles on him that he’s dreamt of something, something oddly familiar. He can’t remember a speck of it though.

His train of thought thoroughly derails with SHINee’s voices singing to Lucifer filling the room - a clear indication that Soonyoung is trying to reach him. He lazily grabs his phone on the desk and puts it on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Wonwoo-ya! Where are you?” Soonyoung’s voice is loud and cheery as usual.

“Just woke up.”

“What?! We’re supposed to meet Jihoonie in an hour!”

Wonwoo checks the time - it’s 10:06 a.m.. Crap, he slept in. It’s been hard to line up the schedules of an astrophysics major, a dance major, and a production major, all of whom which were juniors, and this meeting has been pushed back time and time again. It’s been a month since school started and they only barely managed to clear out for today.

“Oh shit. Sorry, I’ll hurry there right away.” Wonwoo brings his phone with him as he heads to his cabinet with all his toiletries.

“My boyfriend says to make sure you go take a bath. “Don’t be a slob.”” He can practically hear Soonyoung’s smile from how he says ‘boyfriend’, as well as the snicker when he imitates the way Jihoon says ‘slob’.

Wonwoo snorts. “Don’t be an idiot, I’m not Mingyu.”

Soonyoung’s dolphin-like chortle is distorted by the static and echoes within the whole room. Wonwoo smirks, feeling accomplished.

“Anyway, just hurry as much as you can. Stay safe!”

Wonwoo grabs his keys and exits his room. He walks down the hall and spots the opening of a door from one of the rooms ahead, hearing groans as he walks further down. Without his glasses, he can’t make out who’s grumbling in the middle of the hallway. As Wonwoo gets closer, he recognizes the figure to be the sophomore boarder Seungkwan. It’s only 10 a.m., but Seungkwan has dark circles under his eyes and looks like his frown could fall off his face if it drops any lower. He hears the the slight whine mixed in the yawn the younger boy makes.  

Seungkwan looks his way and ends up yawning while greeting him, “’ornin’, sunbae.”

“Morning. You have an exam today or something?”

Seungkwan heaves out a sigh and starts running his face through his hands.

Looks like Wonwoo hit the landmine, and he instinctively pats the younger boy’s back in encouragement. Seungkwan gives him a small smile in exchange, claps his cheeks, and pumps a fist up. Wonwoo nods and heads towards the bathroom door, leaving the boy in front of his room.

“Oh yeah, sunbae, remember that book you recommended me last week? I heard the movie cast is being announced later,” Seungkwan calls out.

“’The Stars are Dust?’” Wonwoo has one foot in the bathroom and Soonyoung is waiting for him but that book is pretty much one of his favorite things. And while he’s usually disappointed by movie adaptations, he is still excited for the upcoming release.

Seungkwan nods. “The director is saying he found the perfect Daejung. I’m only a fourth-way through the book but I really love that character! I’m not really sure if I want him or Chinsun for Nari’s endgame, but he’s definitely my favorite character so far.” The boy seems to have gotten a bit of his normal energy back talking about the franchise. It pleases Wonwoo.

Wonwoo nods in acknowledgment and enters the bathroom.

The “The Stars are Dust” is a novel that came out two years ago and became an instant hit. It’s the debut novel by the mysterious “Virtwo” that no one but the publishing house seems to know. Rumours are that they are but a student, and that’s why there’s a great need to protect their identity. Regardless, the book has been making big waves since then, and is now scheduled for a theatrical release.

Wonwoo had read it when it started to accumulate a mass following only after a couple of months of coming out. He had read it in three days, despite it being a massive book. Upon finishing, Wonwoo decided the book definitely earned a place in his top 10 books of all time.

The story is a space opera about the hero Nari. Nari’s twin is said to be the chosen one to end the rule of the ‘Empire’ whose actions have brought nothing but suffering to their people. However, when one of the Emperor’s sons attacks, he ends up killing Nari’s sister. Nari then disguises as her sibling to raise the people’s hopes and sets out to take revenge against the Empire.

Wonwoo’s favorite character is, without a doubt, Daejung, the ‘Red Prince’. Although he is given a ruthless evil persona at the beginning of the story, it is revealed that he actually does care for the future of the country and takes it very seriously. He has been blinded by his father from their mistreatment of the people and is heavily burdened by his inexperience and naivete. Through his meetings with Nari as the ‘Chosen One’, he slowly learns the truth and instead, ends up fighting alongside Nari.

Wonwoo especially likes how the romance is actually more of a subplot than anything, as well as how the development of the characters really revolve around their goals, perceptions, and experiences. He likes how Daejung gets a fully earned happy ending even with all he has lost.

He knows that this upcoming movie will only cover half, or maybe even less, of the book as it’s over 1000 pages. It’s jam-packed with action, questions of morality, and several interesting relationships that just can’t be condensed into a 2-hour movie. The setting itself makes it hard to pull off any adaptation of it smoothly, but the characters of the book definitely cannot be portrayed by amateurs. Each character is really complex in their own way and it’ll be hard to show off their emotions properly. It’s even surprising that they have found a completed cast so quickly, and it worries Wonwoo. He doesn’t want anything or anyone to stain the name of the book, even though it may be the inevitable.

He finishes bathing in 10 minutes and by 10.30 a.m., he’s out of the dormitory. The cafe itself isn’t that far off, maybe a 15-20 minute walking distance. They are midway through fall and it’s cool enough to walk without sweating.

Wonwoo likes walking. It gives him time to think and to take in his surroundings. He likes it best when he walks around just listening to music and humming to the tune. He’s not in the place to leisurely stroll around so he’s forgone the earphones. He hears a radio nearby and he recognizes the song as he nears the source. It’s “Cherry Blossoms Ending” by Busker Busker. It’s been a long time since he heard this song - or so he thought. Wonwoo remembers, this is the song Joshua-hyung had been playing last night. This song is nostalgic. It came out shortly after his last year of middle school when he-

His thoughts are interrupted when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Wonwoo picks it up.

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung sounds rather…hurried. Wonwoo quickens his pace.

“Hey, I’m already on my way.”

“That’s great and all but no, this is something different!”

Wonwoo is puzzled. Soonyoung has been whining to him for the past month about how the three of them can never hang out at the same time. He’s missed the couple and has made a lot of work to make sure he is able to meet the two today. Soonyoung and Jihoon did the same. What could possibly be more important right now?

“Have you heard of the “The Stars are Dust” movie casting?”

That’s odd. Soonyoung hasn’t even read the novel. He says he’ll check it out if he likes the movie since the book is really long and he doesn’t know if he can commit. Why is Soonyoung asking about that? “Seungkwan mentioned it’ll be released today or something,” Wonwoo says.

“Well, I think you should check out the cast list.”

“The cast list?”

Wonwoo is stopped in his tracks. He finds himself in front of an electronics shop. The TV is set to some local channel showing the cast reveal of the “The Stars are Dust” movie. They just announced the actor playing the Red Prince Daejung. He’s a tall guy with styled reddish-brown hair and black clothing. He wears an earring on one side.

They call him “Jerry Moon”. Under his name, a headline states “rising Chinese actor who caught the eyes of Director Choi Baekhyeon”.

Jerry Moon? Wonwoo doesn’t know who that is at the slightest. What he does know is that the man before him on screen is none other than Wen Junhui. Wonwoo has been trying to forget him for so long and now that he has, Jun appears before him. It all comes rushing back - the tutoring sessions, the late night stargazing, the confession in broken Korean, the kisses at the back of the bus, and worst of all - the screams he shouted out to the sky that were never heard.

_“When the wind blows, my heart starts to pound without knowing.”_

He recalls it now - it’s the song he played on repeat when Jun left. He finds it hard to breathe. He watches “Jerry Moon” greet the press and give them a killer smile. It takes him back - he remembers.

 

-

The clicks of the digital camera go off and the photographer gives them a huge thumbs up.

Wonwoo’s parents are hugging him tightly. He almost can’t breathe from their combined force upon him. They giggle as they release him and he finds himself smiling. He lets his laughter join the noise of the crowd filling the air, with the families of the graduates all cheering and chattering. He reveres his middle school diploma and his honours certificate  with much satisfaction. He’s never felt as productive as he did this past year, and he’s sure it’s because of his friends and because of _him_. Their support means so much to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo scans the scene and spots a figure shying away from the rest and exiting through the school gate. _It’s him._

“I’ll be right back.” He excuses himself from his parents and rushes past the people. Each step forward seems more exciting than the last. Middle school is over but soon, he’ll be a high school student. _They’ll be high school students._ Together.

It’s a nice cool spring morning and the sky is clear without a cloud in sight. This day seems _almost_  perfect. Almost - Wonwoo can’t let it end without hugging him goodbye for the spring break after all.

He approaches the boy from behind and grabs onto his sleeve. Wonwoo takes a moment to regain his breath as he feels the boy stop in his tracks. He looks up, expecting the easy-going smile he’s so used to seeing, but is instead met with a hurt expression. Junhui is biting his lip and doesn’t look the happiest to see him.

Wonwoo has never seen him like this.

“H-hey. Are you okay?”

Junhui opens his mouth and closes it again. He holds the arm that Wonwoo has grabbed and looks to the ground. He mumbles out words but Wonwoo can’t make them out.

“Hey, Jun, is something wrong…?”

Wonwoo feels his heart sink. He has this unshakable feeling that whatever is holding back Jun is something big and unavoidable. He doesn’t notice that he’s tightened his grip until Jun jerks back his arm. He releases it immediately and mutters an apology. He looks back at Jun’s face, and the boy is finally looking right at him.

“I-I’m leaving,” Jun manages.

Wonwoo doesn’t feel like he’s breathing. The way Jun looks at him with his wide brown eyes feels suffocating. They’re usually big and bright and full of joy, but now, they look full of guilt and pain. He can’t bear to return the eye contact. He somehow understands. Wherever Jun is going, it isn’t just for the break or anything like that; Jun isn’t coming back.

“W-why?” Wonwoo chokes out.

He feels as if time has stopped. He sees Jun is talking. He can see that he’s avoiding Wonwoo’s gaze and he’s fidgeting with his hands. He looks like he’s about to cry. Yet, Wonwoo doesn’t hear anything. The cheers around them are deafening and he feels like his heart has stood still. He is rooted in place. It’s like spring turned back into winter and he feels so utterly cold. It’s supposed to be one of those perfect days but now it’s become the worst day possible.

Wonwoo wants to shout at him. He doesn’t need the reason why he’s going, he needs the reason why he isn’t staying. He needs to know why he’s only been told now. He needs to know why Jun is breaking his heart even though he’s supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to Wonwoo, but he takes one look at Jun and he falters.

Jun has stopped talking. His fingers have curled up into fists and Wonwoo sees his shoulders hunch up. Wonwoo wants him to tackle him and make sure he doesn’t go but Jun backs away and turns his back at him.

Wonwoo feels possessed. He takes Jun’s hand yells out, “Jun, wait!”

Jun stops but doesn’t turn to him. He feels Jun’s other hand hold his. Wonwoo has held this hand so many times but it somehow feels foreign. It’s a tight, reluctant grip.

“Don’t go,” he whispers. Tears are stuck in his throat. He can’t let Jun leave, not like this. He has blanked out through the explanation. He just can’t accept it - his emotions are out of control. He wants Jun to give him a minute - even just a minute - to calm himself and listen to what he has to say. He needs time to convince Jun not to let it end like this.

The other boy refuses to look his way. “I’m sorry Wonwoo…I’m leaving tomorrow and I-I…” Jun’s voice falters. It sounds like it’s about to break.

“Goodbye.” Jun removes Wonwoo’s grip from his hand and walks away.

He hears the hurt in Jun’s words and can’t bring it in him to chase after him. He watches his first love end as Jun disappears at the curve of the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 will be posted in the next few weeks...maybe. I'm not on a weekly schedule or anything but you can be assured I won't abandon this project haha. Please feel free to leave comments - they really motivate me through the pain of the story HAHAHA. 
> 
> Don't forget to stream Clap on YT and Melon!


	2. We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In where actor Jun stresses about his movie and Wonwoo meets him right after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a while...anyways, I'm back!
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos/bookmarks/comments you've left me! I appreciate it a lot *heart emoji*  
> Recommended song for this chapter (not really specifically the chapter but for the whole of the fic, lol) is "One More Chance" by Super Junior.

 

_“We meet again, Chosen One. Is this a blessing or a curse?”_

_(The Red Prince to ‘Heeyoung’, Chapter 15)_

 

By the time Wonwoo arrives at the cafe, he still hasn’t recovered from the shock of seeing Jun. The coffee shop looks warm, cozy, and inviting, but Wonwoo feels nothing but dread as he enters.

He immediately sees Soonyoung and Jihoon sitting beside each other on one of the couches. They seem to be in deep conversation and Wonwoo isn’t sure if he should intervene. Nonetheless, he approaches them slowly. He has an inkling about what they are talking about. It sounds logical that your best friend will share to their boyfriend their worries about you and your maybe-worrisome reaction after seeing your first love in years turning out to be the actor cast as your favorite character from one of your favorite books. It all sounds very likely, and Jihoon’s his friend so he’s alright with all that, but he hopes he’s wrong.

Soonyoung eventually looks up and sees him. It sort of cracks up Wonwoo to see him so nervous. He relaxes.

Upon closer inspection, they looked like quite a pair. He’s only seen them individually a few time since the semester has started but putting them together is a different sight. Both were wearing similar sweatshirts in different complimenting colors and Jihoon’s blond hair somehow matched Soonyoung’s messy orange tuff.

Soonyoung looks jittery. He scratches the back of his neck and looks hesitant. “Wonwoo! I was just-uh-well-”

Jihoon cuts him off, “This is kinda awkward, Wonwoo-ah, but I actually personally know Jerry Moon.” Jihoon looks at him right in the eye. “Or I guess I’d say, Wen Junhui.”

Wonwoo swallows a sudden dryness in his throat.“What?”

Jihoon nods. He knows Jihoon doesn’t joke about something as serious as this. “As you know, I spent my first year at K University in Busan. He was an exchange student during the second semester in the theatre department org I joined, and we became friends there.”

Jun was here in Korea just a year ago. Wonwoo feels a heaviness weigh over him. He has always liked to think that Jun felt guilty about leaving him just like that, but Jun has been here and didn’t even attempt to contact him. How long has he been in Korea? All the bitter feelings Wonwoo thought he has let go a long time ago slowly start to creep right back up. Maybe he is nothing more than a memory for Jun. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“So Wonwoo…” He sees _that look_  on Soonyoung. He knows exactly what _that look_  means.

Wonwoo speaks slowly, “Hey, you’re not possibly suggesting…”

Soonyoung looks right at him. He’s still, like the way he usually is when he’s serious. “If you wanna talk to him…”

Soonyoung nudges in Jihoon’s direction. “Jihoon can message his weibo or email him. He still has Jun’s contact details, given he hasn’t changed them.” He sees his best friend look back at him. Soonyoung knows more than anyone how much Jun has meant to him.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Does Wonwoo really need to do anything? Sure, Jun is taking part in something that is currently a big part of his life, but it’s not like Jun will directly be a part of it. He hasn’t been, not for the past five years. Jun has been his first love and his first heartbreak. He has long forgotten it until this morning. He has even forgotten the song he repeated over and over again when Jun left until he saw Jerry Moon talking to the press. He’s stopped wishing for Jun to come back a long time ago.

The answer is clear but Wonwoo hesitates.

He doesn’t remember it all but he does remember the little things: the exasperated look Jun had when he was judging their silly antics; the way Jun couldn’t stop his smile or how his eyes shined when he talked about his younger brother; the way Jun looked genuinely interested when he talked about the stars and the constellations. Jun was his first love, but he was also his best friend, and that made it hurt even more. What _did_  Wonwoo want to do?

“I-I need to think about it.”

 

-

Jun is back in his dressing room and is exhausted. He’s been well-fed but it’s been a long day. He has just finished the press-con-after lunch and has obtained all his finalized schedules for the line-reading, the practices, the takes - everything he has to do from now until he returns back to China. That is the easy part to be honest; it’s the press-con that still weighs heavily in his mind.

The reporters knew nothing about him and wanted to know everything. _Everything_. When did he debut? What works has he done? Is he feeling confident about the role? Has he read the book?

The answers came out more eloquently than he thought they would. He debuted 4 and a half years ago in a small-time vampire drama which somehow became a massive hit and rose his status up from an unknown newbie. Jun had actually auditioned to be an extra because he wanted some extra money to pay for Korean learning books, not that he told them that. He didn’t expect his amateur drama club experience to help him out enough to get picked for a much bigger role of second lead.

The drama staff and members had low expectations of itself, but everyone involved has since been recruited left and right. At this point, he’s done 5 dramas, and 2 movies, and several commercial advertisements.

His current role is perhaps the most complex character he has ever had, he tells them, but he promises nothing but his best. He assures them that he has read the book and knows the characters well enough. What he doesn’t say is that Director Choi has made sure of it.

About 7 months ago, in the middle of filming his most recent drama, Jun found a very lost Choi Baekhyeon wandering near the set. He noticed the Korean labeling on the director’s baggage and attempted to help him. He never stopped learning Korean even though he didn’t have anyone to talk to. The director basically hugged the life out of him with gratitude. At that time, Jun had no idea that Choi was a director, a rising star in Korea much less. Jun thought nothing of it when the man has expressed interest in watching the filming. After the shooting for the day, he basically got a movie offer right off the bat.

Jun was so bewildered that he almost thought it was a scam.

The next thing he knew, his manager accepted the condition that Jun would audition 6 months later once all the pre-production permits and everything have been approved and Jun would have had to have read the book, or at least up until the parts the movie covered, by then.

It daunted Jun to read around half of a 1000-page science fiction Korean novel. Even though his Korean was pretty good by now, he’s never attempted something this big. Still, Jun was determined, in between his projects, all he did was study the book and its characters.

As the days passed, Jun wanted to play Daejung more and more if he could. Daejung’s self-image hits the bottom, from an honorable prince to nothing but his father’s play piece. And yet, Daejung gets back up. He decides to go against his father, and that courage and resolve (even though Jun has no idea what happens in the end) leaves Jun in awe. The thought of portraying such a cool character made him excited. Not that Jun felt qualified to comment what is good Korean writing but he thoroughly enjoyed the story. He felt like the writing added so much to the story and that he was seeing the whole movie in his head even though it didn’t even exist yet. From a minor part-time job, he had developed a passion - acting was thrilling.

His latest role before this was to portray a city-born high schooler who found himself in an agricultural school after failing to get into his first choice. Jun found it the most challenging part he’s ever had so far, but it had also been the most fulfilling. The good reviews assured him a second season come back.

Still, the Red Prince Daejung proved to be the most difficult role. He made several notes while reading and filled a whole journal full of dialogue and gestures. He practiced his Korean accent with a hired translator and did a lot of line reading to perfect the tone of Daejung. The audition got him all jittery but he was unanimously picked by the whole panel. It made him swell with pride; his hard work was acknowledged.

The reporters seemed impressed, and cheered for him even. While he is confident in doing his part, he now feels that the expectations for him has increased tenfold, and it makes him a tinge uneasy.

At the back of his mind however, what he’ll admit to no one, is that the reason Jun has been working so hard at Korean is because he didn’t wanted to forget the boy he left under the cherry blossoms all those years ago.

-

Jun plugs in his earphones and starts checking through his weibo notifications. He has recently posted a picture of him after the press conference and a lot of his fans were crying out how they wish they could understand the movie. He doesn’t want to get their hopes up with the talk of possibly releasing the movie in China with subtitles and a release of a translated version of the book.

Unfortunately, Jun’s fame in China does not translate into anything at all in South Korea. He is nothing more than an unknown variable participating in an adaptation of a much beloved novel. The expectations from being especially recommended by Director Choi are high.

Jun sighs. He can’t let his self-esteem be shaken.

He scrolls through his work messages and notices that his personal email actually has something for once.

The only one who messages him is his family but these days, they’ve formed their own group chat on another app. Curious, Jun looks at his inbox and sees that the sender is Korean.

It’s Lee Jihoon.

Jihoon and Junhui became friends during his only semester at Busan’s K University. Jun liked him a lot. Jihoon was straightforward with his words and held no punches when it came to perfecting songs and acts, but he was also kind and laughed easily. He used to get more emails from Jihoon right after he left but the boy became busier once he transferred to Seoul for his second year. Jun had been so busy with work as well that he completely forgot to tell his friends that he was back in Korea. Oh well, he can at least start with Jihoonie.

He opens the message and the message is simple.

“Moon Junhwi! You didn’t message that you’d be in Korea! Let’s go and hang out. You can reach me at 0XX-XXXX-9607. Send me a message.”

Jun giggles. It’s brief and straight to the point - very Jihoon.

He basically bombards the number with emoticons and ends it with “this is Junヾ(☆▽☆)”. Jihoon is probably rolling his eyes at the text right now like he always did when he used emoticons. He chortles at the thought. He’s glad he loaded up his phone recently. He gets a reply immediately and is surprised. “Is it a good time to call?”

It’s unexpected but Jun shrugs it off and texts “Sure!!! I’m free till 5pm.” It is 4 p.m. now and later he’ll meet with the costume team for his measurements.

His phone starts ringing in a moment and Jun almost drops it in surprise. He steadies his hold and answers the call.

“Hello?”

The voice is deep and husky and catches Jun off-guard. It is impossible that this voice belongs to Jihoon.

“This is…Wen Junhui, right?”

Everyone knows Jun’s real name. It’s in his profile and his wiki, still, everyone he doesn’t know that well calls him Jerry Moon and he is at a sudden loss of words.

“Jun, this is Wonwoo.”

Jun freezes. Wonwoo? That Wonwoo?

THAT WONWOO?

The actor has a mini mental crisis. How is he supposed to react? It’s been five years and Jun hasn’t contacted him or anything. How does he even know Jihoon? All these questions swim in his mind but Wonwoo’s voice takes him out of his thoughts.

“This is Jun, right?”

“Ah! Uh…yeah. Sorry, I was just…surprised.” _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“I’m sorry, I asked Jihoon to help me contact you. I just wanted…I wanted to talk to you.”

Jun feels hesitant. To be more accurate, he feels scared. All the guilt he’s been holding that’s just been sitting in the deep part of his heart is resurfacing. This is the person who he has the most regrets about. The excuse Jun uses to never get involved with anyone too seriously. He’s been scared his cowardice will hurt anyone like how he has hurt Wonwoo. He still hasn’t forgiven himself for what he has done. He knows he knows better now. It’s been 5 years, but he’s held back by the thought he’ll end up making the same mistakes as his 15-year old self.

He wanted to have some closure the last time he went to Korea. Wonwoo deserved that much. He tried calling Wonwoo’s house and even used Jihoon’s name. All he got from that one phone call is that Wonwoo was studying in Seoul. He didn’t feel brave enough to learn more than that. He ended up leaving Korea without ever attempting again.

And now here they are. He has to say something, anything.

“Wonwoo,” he breathes out. It’s been so long since he’s said that name out loud. He hears his natural Mandarin accent come with it. The image of Wonwoo from their last day together has been burned deeply in his mind. He can’t forget the way Wonwoo has looked at him with pleading eyes and how it looked almost painful to take in anything Jun has been trying to say. Jun feels his chest tighten.

The long silence is broken by Wonwoo’s low voice. “Jun?”

 _Idiot._  He scolds himself. He is an actor and improv is something he is getting much better at, and yet now, he finds himself helpless and speechless.  

“I-I-” He can’t believe he is actually stuttering. “Do you want to meet up?” Shit, what did Jun just say?

A moment passes. Jun is about to take it back when Wonwoo’s voice breaks through the static,“When?”

Jun’s eyes widen. He feels a rush in him. It’s either now or never. It’s now, he decides.

“I’m free after 8 p.m.” Dinner is set to start at 6 and should probably end at 7.30 p.m. That gives him enough time to prepare for the meeting. Jun approves the idea in his head when it dawns on him that Wonwoo might not be free. “Forget it if you’re busy or something like that…” he blurts out.

He hears a scoff(?) on the other side of the line. “Aren’t you the busier one?” Wonwoo seems to be talking with him so effortlessly while Jun has his insides turning out, and it makes him feel even nervous about the whole thing.  

“Where?” Wonwoo asks. Jun’s panic rises because he definitely hasn’t thought any of this through.

“I’m staying at Pledis Apartments, do you know where that is?”

“Yeah, that’s an apartment complex where a lot of students from my school board.”

“You go to S University?” It occurs to Jun that the chance of meeting Wonwoo even without the Jihoon connection whatsoever would have been incredibly large. It’s a thought that almost scares him if he isn’t already facing the current predicament. He is almost thankful that their first encounter after so long is not face-to-face.

“Astrophysics major.”

Astrophysics major. The Wonwoo in Jun’s mind has always loved space. It’s been 5 years but at least that hasn’t changed. Jun breathes easier.

“Oh cool.”  _It’s cool that the part of you that brought us together is still there._  Jun stops himself from gritting his teeth. “Anyway, there’s a nearby park here, do you want to meet there?”

“Is it okay for you to go out? The cast release just happened today after all.” It shouldn’t surprise him that Wonwoo has found him through the cast release but it does. It’s always been more of a fantasy, a passing thought he hasn’t dwelled in since he was 17, that he’d meet Wonwoo again through acting.

He feels off-kilter and totally unprepared.

He thinks about it for a second. Wonwoo is giving him an out - an out for whatever this is he’s doing. It’ll be easier for him to agree and let this pass. It’ll be easier for both of them to become nothing but a memory for each other.

Still, he has chosen the easy route before. Apologizing is never easy to begin with. He’ll do better this time even if he knows it’ll end as easily as it has started.

Jun wraps his fingers around the earphone cords and uncurls them right after.“It’s just in front of the apartment, it’ll probably be fine. I’ll wear a lot of disguises.” He thinks: face mask, hat, sunglasses, hoodie - promotions haven’t started so it’s not like his face is everywhere. This is all viable.

Jun is distracted from his thinking when he realizes that Wonwoo has been quiet. Jun gives him the time, this is Wonwoo’s out. Jun tenses when the other boy finally speaks and confirms, “So around 8:30?”

Jun holds his breath. There’s no backing out now. “Yeah that sounds good. See you.”

Wonwoo makes a sounds of acknowledgment. “See you.”

 

-

Wonwoo got here at 8. There’s still 10 minutes before the designated time. He thinks of the call from earlier. Jun has sounded like Jun, but also not at all. His voice is still high but is distinctively lower, and his accent is no longer heavy; he can almost pass as a native speaker, yet the way he spoke when he is deathly nervous is the same. Jun has never pushed more when he didn’t think he should. He gives you the pauses you need to think and will always wait for you until you are ready. Wonwoo had liked that about him. Well, he had liked a lot of things about Jun.

It seems unreal that the very much real and also very much different Jun is going to meet him soon. He doesn’t know which would hurt more: seeing Jun as exactly the same, or seeing now how he’s not.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself. The Jun that left him that day was nothing like the Jun he came to know. For all Wonwoo knows, he’s never actually known Jun at all. Jun made it big into the drama world after all, maybe Jun had always been acting when he was with him. He questioned it a lot the first week Jun had left; he was so angry ,and sad, just incredibly sad. He hated seeing all the things he used to associate with Jun - the little notes they used to pass, the places they’d go to, the constellations he would teach.

He feels all the ugly feelings he had buried come out the more he thinks about the past. Wonwoo won’t let them take over him though. He’s here to say goodbye, nothing else.

The park is mostly empty and Wonwoo figures it’s because there’s nothing here but stone benches. Kids and high school students like playgrounds and large grassy areas. Places like these are for the elderly, who are typically sleeping at this time. It’s not particularly cold but he tightens his coat’s wrap around him, trying his best to ease out his nerves.

He hear footsteps behind him and freezes on the bench. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and tries to sit up straighter.

"Hi." Jun’s voice is slightly muffled but he doesn’t question it.

"Hi," he replies.

He hears the other boy settle behind him. They’re not seated back-to-back; they’re beside each other but not facing the other at all. Wonwoo’s not sure how to deal with all of this silence, but he recalls the name “Jerry Moon” flashing on screen as he stood still on the sidewalk. He starts there.

"You became an actor.”

"You're an astrophysics major." Jun almost sounds wistful.

A silence comes in between them. Now what? Wonwoo has decided to meet with Jun so that this scene is what would replay in his mind, not the horrible goodbye at graduation. It’s going to be a peaceful sort of end. A phone call would have felt like they had no choice but to accept each others’ decision without really obtaining the proper closure with what had happened.

"Listen," both say.

Jun speaks up, "I-Can I go first?"

Wonwoo finally looks at Jun and he is met by a hooded figure. Jun is wearing a cap that covers his hair, sunglasses that cover his eyes, and a face mask. The other boy lowers his face mask and takes off his sunglasses. He lifts his face up again, as if asking Wonwoo if it’s okay to go on.

Wonwoo feels perplexed. He’s not here for an apology but Jun’s brown eyes plead at him for just a few words. He’s always been weak to Jun’s eyes. He falters and nods.

Jun stands up. "I'm sorry for not having told you anything when I left." The other boy bows down, ninety degrees bend. “I was immature and selfish and I hurt you.” He straightens himself up and looks at Wonwoo. “I can’t change any of that anymore but I really am sorry.”

Here it is. Wonwoo is not here for apologies but it does feel damn good to get one. Jun looks earnest and sounds sincere, at least. Wonwoo breathes out. It’s time to really put this in the past. "It's okay. I've honestly forgotten it."

He feels the other boy stare at him.. "What? I mean-oh, ah, I see."

"Yeah, I came here to properly say goodbye."

Jun is silent and nods. Wonwoo guesses this is where it ends. He too, is silent and looks at the ground. When he looks back at Jun, he’s got his accessories back on when he turns to Wonwoo.

“Ah, Can I ask you for Jihoon’s real number?” Jun asks while Holding his phone.

“He told me he’ll text you later,” Wonwoo answers curtly.

“Oh, I see. How do you know him anyway?” Wonwoo is taken aback. He can’t say he expected Jun to ask anything beyond the two of them. What is Jun after? He guesses it doesn’t really matter and decides to play along for now.

“We’re orgmates. He’s also my best friend’s boyfriend,” Wonwoo says, leveling his tone.

“Soonyoung’s?”

Wonwoo grunts.

“Wow, I guess that’s a funny coincidence, huh? We could have easily met each other with our proximity, but this is how we meet again instead.” Jun currently lives in the Pledis apartments where any non-dorming students resided. He knows both Mingyu and Joshua live there, along with a couple of his other friends. He wonders how this arrangement has come to be. It’s like the universe is playing a big trick on both of them.

Wonwoo tightens his coat’s hold on him again. “I don’t think I would have missed you, everyone’s talking about you and the rest of the cast. You’re a big star now, aren’t you?”

He hears Jun rustle leaves on the ground. “Not really, this is honestly a big step for me. I’m very lucky to have been given a chance to play this.” Wonwoo wiki’d Jun earlier. He won two newcomer awards the year he debuted and has since risen to popularity to the point that if anything he’s casted for automatically receives hype and high anticipation. He may not be anywhere near Luhan’s or Kris’ levels but he was well on his way there with his exponentially growing fanbase.

He wonders if Jun is only saying that to seem humble or if that’s just the way he is. The boy he came to know had always had confidence in his visuals and his talents, but he couldn’t handle praise well at all. Wonwoo feels his chest clenching.

"I didn’t think I’d see the shy drama boy grow up into this." Wonwoo feels like he might burst if he doesn’t confirm that the past isn’t a lie tonight.

Jun’s laugh airily fills then tension between them. "It was luck that brought me to this world but I think I really stumbled onto something worth pursuing."

"I'm happy for you."

Wonwoo surprises himself. The words come out easily. Jun had always expressed before how he longed to be so passionate about whatever he ends up doing in the future. Well, they’re in the future now, and here Jun is. With this turn of development, Wonwoo wants to throw his doubts away. He wants to believe the Jun he knew was genuine, even though Jun hurt him. It was a mistake and they both have to live with it now. It’s okay, Wonwoo decides. He can really now say goodbye now.

He hears Jun humming. "Did you take astrophysics because you still love stars?"

Wonwoo may be speculating, but it’s like Jun isn’t letting this end. Talking has always been easy with Jun. One conversation topic jumps to another, and it almost seems endless. Why is he letting Jun stir him up again? He can leave right now with no regrets, but he doesn’t try to stop himself from answering.

"I can't believe you still remember," it comes out soft, like a whisper.

He swears Jun is muttering something but it sounds like it’s in Chinese and he can’t understand a thing.

"Did you say something?"

Jun looks at him and lowers his face mask again. He points upwards. "It's Altair and Vega."

Wonwoo looks up at the night sky and it’s not that cloudy for once. He scans the scene and spots the bright stars he has once taught Jun. A brief memory comes to mind. _“I looked it up, Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo represent the stars called Altair and Vega.”_

Jun sighs almost dreamily. “They look so close together but are actually so far apart.”

 _Kinda like us right now._  Wonwoo thinks. He looks at how his hands are inches away from Jun’s, and yet the boy before him has grown to be in such a different world than he has. Jun might seem the same, but Wonwoo knows better. He’s delayed it far enough. He stands up and properly faces Jun, with the stone bench in between them.

"Well, I wish you well in your movie." He extends a hand to Jun.

The other boy stares at his hand for a moment before he shakes it. "Oh right, thanks." Jun smiles at him. He hates Jun for it. Why is he smiling as if he wants Wonwoo to stay? Wonwoo takes back his hand.

He coughs. "You better do well. Daejung is one of my favorite characters of all time."

Jun has put back his face mask by the time he faces Wonwoo again. "You've read the book?"

"Yeah it's one of my favorites."

Jun stands up and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He has his head tilted on one side as he speaks,"Daejung's a great character, isn't he? Even when he hits the bottom, he still rises back to the top."

Jun then looks upwards to the night sky. He removes his hoodie’s top and reveals his cap. He continues to speak, "He lost so much-”. He takes it off and rakes a hand through his hair, before putting back his cap on again. “-but he never lost sight of what he had to do and where he had to go."

Jun now faces Wonwoo, his shoulders slumped and his hands deeper into his hoodie. "This might be mad to admit to an expectant fan, but the role is really challenging. I know him so well and I think I’m a pretty decent actor, but I don’t know if I can deliver."

Wonwoo fixes his glasses before looking straight at Jun. "But from everyone, weren't you the one casted?"

Jun stares back at the stars. “Andromeda,” he points above Wonwoo. Wonwoo can’t see the smile behind the face mask, but he imagines it to be as sad as the one earlier. He wonders on whether he’s just imagining Jun to be the same or not. Maybe he’s letting himself fool himself into thinking that all he knew about Jun still has use, when in reality, he’s dealing with a whole new different person. Wonwoo bites his lip.

Jun turns his back to Wonwoo and speaks slowly, "I think that I am good enough but I don’t know if everyone else would think the same."

 _You’ve always been good enough,_  Wonwoo stops himself from saying. He can’t see Jun’s expression at all but he somehow remembers, or thinks he remembers, the tone of disappointment the other boy has always used. He can practically hear the sigh in his voice.

"Ah sorry, I shouldn't make you anxious and all." Jun turns to him and takes his hand out of his hoodie and starts waving.

“I’ll try my best not to disappoint you.” Jun removes his mask again and shows Wonwoo the same carefree smile he used to put on when he was worried about something but didn’t want anyone else to worry about him. Wonwoo thinks that he’ll trust his gut. Jun might be a proclaimed actor or whatsoever, but he’s terribly lousy at hiding his real emotions. Jun didn’t even attempt to look apathetic when he left him that day- that’s the only comfort Wonwoo has had for years and he won’t let some rookie awards take those away.

Something about all of Jun’s actions feels so honest, and that in itself, feels so much like Jun.

Wonwoo knows. He can see that the end of this can be bad, possibly very bad. What the heck is he doing? He came here with a steadfast resolve and it’s crumbled so quickly. Will he let himself be vulnerable again and get hurt? What more does he want from Jun?

_“It’s Altair and Vega.”_

What does Jun want from Wonwoo? Wonwoo definitely thinks Jun’s doing this on purpose. He’s hesitant. He doesn’t think he can give his heart away - not again. Friendship, on the other hand, sounds enticing. He’s missed this, back-and-forth conversations that never felt wrong. Even with the years and mistakes between them, it’s like things hardly changed at all.

"What if I help you out?" He can’t tell much, since Jun’s face is mostly covered up, but he looks as if Wonwoo has asked the strangest thing possible. He’s not wrong, Wonwoo supposes. "I mean, you can act some lines out with me and I'll tell you how it is." Jun cocks his head to the side, Wonwoo sees his nose scrunch up in disbelief.

Wonwoo shrugs. "Not like I'm a pro or anything, but at least you get the perspective of a fan. You can think of it as making it up to me - not staining the name of Daejung." He sees Jun gape at him with his mouth wide open. The actor is silent for a while.

"Is that okay with you?" Jun finally says.

“I’m the one offering.”

“Hm.” Jun takes out his phone. “I’m guessing this is really your number, right?”

“Yeah, Jihoon says he’s sorry about that by the way.”

“Hm.” Jun chuckles. He fiddles with his phone some more before stuffing it into his pocket.

He looks right at Wonwoo and bows slightly, a lot less formal from his bow from earlier.“Thanks for meeting me, Wonwoo.” Jun sounds happy, Wonwoo thinks.

Wonwoo nods at him. “It was good to see you Jun.”

“You too.”

 

-

The new boy trudges behind him. Wonwoo is in his second year of middle school when he is tasked to show the new kid from China around the school. A week has passed and so far, so good. Junhui’s accent is heavy and his Korean is not the best but they can somehow understand each other just fine. Today, he’ll be helping Junhui pick a club. The other boy picks up his pace and walks alongside Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo-ssi, what club are you in?” Junhui has a warm and happy sort of aura. It’s relaxing to be around.

“You can just call me Wonwoo.”

Junhui smiles at him. “Then, you can call me Jun.” It’s only been a week but Jun’s familiarity doesn’t feel too uncomfortable. “Wonwoo, what club are you in?”

“Astronomy.”

Jun stops in his tracks and cocks his head. “The what?”

Wonwoo realizes that Jun probably doesn’t know what the word is in Korean. He opts in describing it instead. “We study stars and other stuff in the sky.”

Jun hits the palm of his hand with his fist. “Oh! Alright, I know what you’re talking about. It sounds kewl!” Jun says with enthusiasm.

Wonwoo covers his mouth, he almost spluttered in laughter. “Did Soonyoung teach you that word?”

Jun looks at him questioningly. “Yeah, says it’s a friendlier way of saying ‘amazing’.” The boy looks slightly embarrassed. Maybe he’s thinking he pronounced it wrong when in actuality, Soonyoung has played a harmless prank.

“Uh-huh, well you shouldn’t let Soonyoung fool you. It make you sound childish, only kids say that.”

Jun chuckles at the sentiment. “I don’t think fourteen is that far from being a kid.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Well, only babies would say it like that.”

“But babies can’t even talk properly.”

“Exactly, that’s why they mess up the word. It’s ‘cool’, not ‘kewl’,” Wonwoo explains.

Jun takes in the information and hums while thinking. “Ah, is this what they call ‘aegyo’?” Jun gestures with his fingers, pointing at Wonwoo to confirm. He looks so earnest. It’s cute.

“That’s exactly what we call ‘aegyo’.”

They arrive at the bulletin post. It’s full of different flyers. Sports clubs here, cultural clubs there. The science clubs are also pretty spread out. He has no idea what Jun might remotely be interested in, but he figures he can always just drag him to the Astronomy club and help him out there if ever.

Wonwoo looks towards Jun.“Any thoughts of what club to join?”

Jun’s eyes scan around the board. His eyes narrow at the flyers with no pictures but are simply words on paper. It’s harder to get context from those. Wonwoo’s about to translate those when Jun speaks up, “Not really. I do think the drama club might help my pronunciation though.” He looks at the blue poster with the classic imagery of the two masks around red curtains.

“Ah, that sounds good.” He thinks one of his classmates is in the drama club, he’ll ask them later to help Jun out.

Jun tugs on his sleeve. “Hey, is your club fun?”

Wonwoo blinks. “Yeah. We recently learned about Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo.”

Jun looks at him with wide eyes. “Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo?”

Wonwoo reprimands himself. Of course Jun wouldn’t know about the Chilseok legend, or maybe he does, but Wonwoo has no idea what the Chinese counterpart is. “They’re the cowherd and the weaver. They represent some bright stars and there’s a whole story about how they’re separated lovers and they only meet once a year.”

“Once a year only?! That sounds not nice.”

Wonwoo nods. “Yeah, but it makes their connection even more meaningful. Even though they only meet once a year, their bond is strong and doesn’t falter.” It’s a nice story and Wonwoo has always liked it.

The new boy looks so stunned. “Wonwoo…I’m happy you’re excited but I didn’t understand what you were saying…” Jun smiles at him weakly.

Blush creeps up Wonwoo’s face. He scratches the back of his neck. “Oh, sorry. Uh, I was saying how their love is strong despite only meeting yearly.” He slows down his speech.

“Oh! That sounds really romantic.” Jun perks up and beams at him. “So when do they meet? Is it the same day every year?”

“July 7th.”

“Wow, that sounds lucky, 7th of 7th.” Jun’s eyes are shining at him.

Wonwoo grins. “Yeah, that’s why I’m the lucky coin bag.” He points at himself and Jun is giving him a puzzled look.

“My birthday’s on July 17th,” he says matter-of-factly.

Jun snorts at him. “That’s like 10 days after.” Wonwoo didn’t expect that from Jun. He looks more innocent and happy and the type to go with the flow. Looks like there’s a lot more to the new kid than what he seems.

“It’s still the SEVENteenth of the seventh month,” Wonwoo defends.

His obvious emphasis makes Jun giggles and the boy’s whole body starts to shake. He’s covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re funny Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo stops. _It’s decided_ , he thinks. They’re definitely going to be good friends.“You’re a man of culture, I see.” He smiles at him.

“A man of what?”

Wonwoo smirks. “I’m saying you’re kewl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stand by with my light angst tag.
> 
> Chapter 3 is only half done but I'm working on it!


	3. We're different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been a while, but I'm back! This chapter honestly took forever because of a certain part, but it's longer than long the last one so I hope that make up for it, if even a little,,,
> 
> Today's recommended song for the non-existent playlist is "Remember You" by Got7 xoxo
> 
> Hope you enjoy :D

 

_“We’re different! I may be her twin sister, but I’m not her! Don’t think we’re the same at all!”_

_(Nari to The Elder, chapter 4)._

 

Wonwoo tosses his bag onto his desk as soon as he enters his room. It’s been exactly 22 minutes since he ‘reunited’ with Jun, and their whole conversation plays over and over in his mind. ‘Reunited’ sounds way too happy though. It’s makes it sound like they were happy to see each other, and not actually pained by everything in between them when they met. Wonwoo tries to rid himself of these thoughts, and instead, focus on what it all came to.

He might have made an impulse decision with his gut, and said digestive organ is currently churning with the realization that of what he has done finally is settling in.Wonwoo lies on his bed; his whole body flat on the surface. He stares at his bare ceiling and tries to empty his mind.

He breathes in. He has agreed to meet with Jun again. He breathes out. He did so because he yearns for the friendship they used to share.

He breathes in. This might not be his best idea after all. He breathes out. His phone rings.

It’s Soonyoung.

Earlier, at the coffee shop, his best friend had helped him devise a strategy on how the meet-up should have gone: meet Jun --> say goodbye and get your closure --> leave. As simple as the plan had seemed then, Wonwoo has completely deviated from it.

Wonwoo picks up the phone and brings it to his ear. He hears Soonyoung asking him a flurry of questions about what happened. Wonwoo answers by trying to reconstruct the events the best that he can. Once he starts, Soonyoung doesn’t interrupt him until the end.

“So…,” Soonyoung drags on the word, “You did something stupid?”

Wonwoo heaves a sigh. His tingling fear is pretty much confirmed. “It was stupid, wasn’t it?”

“Well, you went there to go say goodbye, but instead, you ended up reconnecting in some way or another.” There’s no accusatory tone in Soonyoung’s words. What Wonwoo hears is sadness. Soonyoung was there through it all - Wonwoo meeting Jun, Wonwoo falling in love with Jun, Wonwoo and Jun being in a relationship, Wonwoo when Jun left - no one knows more about how Wonwoo could possibly feel about all this.

Wonwoo closes his eyes. “I don’t know.”

He remembers the Jun he saw without the face mask or the sunglasses. He has seen Jun on television and he’s gone through several tabloid pictures, starting from when Jun debuted; and what he thought then was it could have almost been a stranger. Jun’s soft edges are now all sharper; his once skinny frame has become lean and muscular, his hair now always neat and styled. Seeing him in person, however, feels like being punched in the gut. He has the same big brown eyes, the same almost unnoticeable dimple when he smiles, the same laugh Wonwoo wishes he could forget.

“It’s like he hasn’t changed.” _Even though he’s practically a stranger now._  Wonwoo clenches his shirt with his other hand. The sentiment shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

“That sounds bad for you.”

Wonwoo props himself up and leans on his bed post. “What do you mean?”

“You were head over heels for the guy! He smiled and you basically melted at the sight of it! It was like watching all the romcom cliches.” Wonwoo groans. He remembers his early days of infatuation and how embarrassing they had been.

“Shut up. Aren’t you’re talking about you with Jihoon?” he retorts lamely.

“Exactly, Wonwoo! You were in love with him!” Soonyoung’s voice booms loudly in his ear. He _was_  in love with Jun. Was. Past tense.

“That’s in the past now,” Wonwoo answers gruffly.

It’s Soonyoung’s turn to sigh. “What I’m saying is, if he reminds you so much of the Jun you were with, all those feelings might resurface, you know?”

Wonwoo does know. He doesn’t tell Soonyoung that he’s fucking scared that they will. He doesn’t even want to verbalize the thought. Saying it out loud might actually make it a premonition of some sort. He grips his phone tighter. Wonwoo does know one thing is true.

“He forced me to shut off those feelings a long time ago.”

“Then why are you helping him out again?” Soonyoung asks softly.

“I-” Wonwoo stops. Seeing Jun dug up a lot of feelings Wonwoo had long buried: anger, bitterness, melancholy. Still, in the midst of that pool of emotions is the longing. The longing for the friendship they used to have, the comfort he had associated with Jun. He feels everything clawing its way out of the hole he left them in.

“I miss my best friend,” he chokes out.

“Ah, Wonwoo-ya.”

Wonwoo stays silent and so does Soonyoung. Wonwoo brings his knees to his chest and rests his head on them. He speaks slowly and softly, “I don’t expect it to really be the same, and it definitely won’t be.”

The Jun that came to know him best was also the Jun who gave his stomach butterflies and made his pale skin scarlet. This Jun, or Jerry Moon, or whatever he’s called now, is an enigma. He doesn’t feel unfamiliar, sure. He just looks like a grown-up Jun with piercings, brown hair, and seemingly perfect skin, and he acts like the clumsy yet friendly Jun that Wonwoo spent his middle school years with; but that younger Jun had struck his blindside and hurt him. Who knows what this Jun could do?

Trusting this new Jun might be the dumbest thing he’s ever done so far, but what’s done is done. He’ll just have to make sure he won’t regret this.

“I’m not in love with him anymore. You don’t have to worry about me,” Wonwoo declares.

He waits for a response but Soonyoung doesn’t say anything.

Wonwoo goes on. “Also, he’s leaving right after the shooting’s finished. Even if I hypothetically wanted to rekindle anything else, it’ll be a stupid move.”

“Well if we’re talking about stupid moves-”

“Shut up, Soonyoung,” Wonwoo says, without any real bite in his words.

“Lol, Wonwoo.” Soonyoung laughs and it reliefs Wonwoo.

Once the other boy calms himself down, he perks up and says, “Hey, do you want to hear what Jihoon thinks of Jun?”

Wonwoo thinks that Jihoon is normally an excellent judge of character. He takes some time to warm up to people, but if he likes you enough, he becomes the most loyal companion. If Jihoon really is friends with Jun, Wonwoo doesn’t feel like his choice is the worst after all.

“Sure, why not?”

“Jihoonie says that it’s hard for him to believe that Jun did what he did to you. The way he describes Jun is kinda similar to the Junnie we used to know, and that was only about a year ago.” He hears the heavy sigh in Soonyoung’s voice.

When Wonwoo thinks about it, he’s not the only one Jun hurt. Jun and Soonyoung had been good friends. Soonyoung had to watch his best friend crumble because of someone he trusted. Soonyoung must want to believe in this Jun as well.

“Did you think his apology was sincere?” Soonyoung asks.

 _Yes_ , Wonwoo almost says. “I want to.”

“Did you find out why he left?”

“No.” Wonwoo cut Jun off before any reason or the like could be said. He had thought he’d flake out on the plan if he gave Jun an opportunity to explain himself. He ends up doing so either way, and now, he still doesn’t have the answer. “I didn’t really give him the chance to.”

Wonwoo lifts his head up and gazes towards his window. He sees the moon looking back at him, big and bright. He remembers all the nights they went stargazing and Wonwoo clicks his tongue. He shifts his eyes back to the plain old ceiling.

“It won’t change the past,” Wonwoo makes a small disgruntled noises in the back of his throat.

Soonyoung makes a sound of acknowledgment. “No. No, it won’t.”

 

-

“Jun-hyung, are you okay? You’re not touching your food.”

Jun looks up. He sees the tall boy pouting at him and it reminds Jun of a puppy. Mingyu is much bigger than he is, but when he makes these sort of faces, it’s easy to remember he’s actually younger than Jun. Minghao, the boy beside him, is also staring at him with concern. It makes him feel the slightest bit of guilt for worrying them.

The two are Jun’s neighbours, a couple who were kind enough to show Jun the ropes around the area during his first month here. They fully treat him as a hyung rather than a celebrity, which Jun is thankful for. He still gets nervous about being put on a pedestal or the like.

Instead, they simply help him adapt to his new environment, as well as help him cross the language barrier by teaching him the nuances of the Seoul dialect and the causal language that is normally used. They also indulge in his excitement for the phone games he’s constantly at when he’s not doing anything. Jun’s glad he’s fortunate enough to have met them.

Their dinners started two weeks ago.

Mingyu had spotted Jun at the convenience store, buying a whole pile of obviously preserved snacks. While Jun knows how to cook, his room’s furnishing doesn’t include any kitchen utilities. Mingyu immediately invited him to eat with him and Minghao as soon as he found out and Jun’s been having supper with them as often as he can ever since.

Jun gives Mingyu a small smile. “Yeah, just a bit lost in thought.” He brings some rice to his mouth and starts to chew.

“Yesterday must have been incredible, huh? I mean, you were introduced to the public for the first time.” Mingyu’s eyes shine.

Jun had given him a copy of the last movie he did to Mingyu as thanks for helping him out during the first week he arrived. Although the younger boy could not understand a speck of Mandarin, he has quickly become one of Jun’s biggest fans, or at least one Jun knows personally. Mingyu is now currently fully invested in seeing Jun succeed in his role and Jun doesn’t say, but it has certainly skyrocketed his fondness of the boy.

“Oh yeah. That was pretty cool,” Jun responds with fake enthusiasm.

Minghao, however, doesn’t buy it. “Did something happen at work?”

“Everything’s fine, it’s just that…”

Jun doesn’t think it will hurt to ask advice from them. Jun’s only other crowd here in Korea are movie staff, and he’s not exactly willing to give out any potential rumour-inducing material. Well, there is always Jihoon, the closest friend he had during his stay here last year, but Jun can say he is the teensiest scared of telling anyone the whole story. He’s kept it all inside all these years.

Jun looks up from his bowl. “I have this friend,” he starts.

“He sort of left things off with another person really badly because he was younger, and dumber, and more immature.” Jun cringes at his admission; his hands left in mid-air while he’s gesturing through his words.

“They met again after several years and he finally apologizes to the person, and the person says he’s already forgotten it, or well, them, I guess.” He glumly remembers how Wonwoo felt so distant. As Wonwoo spoke, Jun realized that the apology really was for his own self-satisfaction. He held himself back from telling Wonwoo all the feelings he had when he left.

Wonwoo has moved on. It’s only Jun that is still stuck in their past, and maybe it’s time to change that.

“But this person also sort of lets my friend back into his life, and my friend is sort of freaking out over it.” Jun rubs the back of his neck. His eyes dart between the boys across him and the food on the table.

“Wow, sounds like your friend’s really in a predicament.”

Minghao nudges Mingyu with his elbow, all while sipping his tea without spilling a drop. The other boy reacts with narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend and pouting, oblivious to why Minghao would that.

 _Minghao knows,_  Jun thinks. ‘My friend’ is probably the most obvious way to say ‘me but let’s say it’s not me’.

Jun shakes it off. It doesn’t really matter unless Minghao knew Wonwoo, so he guesses he shouldn’t mind it much. He takes a deep breath. Minghao might be a student of S University but he’s a Fine Arts major and the chances of him being friends with an Astrophysics major are slim. It’s fine. Jun breathes out. It’s fine.

Minghao waves off Mingyu’s stare. “Well, does your friend want that person back in their lives?”

“They want to, I think.” Jun’s been imagining this situation for years. He should be ecstatic but a shadow of doubt haunts the back of his mind. “They just don’t know it it’s the right choice for both of them.”

“It’s not like your friend makes the decision alone, the other person gets a say in it too,” Minghao says.

Mingyu quickly swallows his food. “Yeah, wasn’t it that other person who offered your friend to come back into their lives?” He coughs as he pumps his fist at his chest. Minghao promptly hands him a glass of water.

“Drink some water, idiot.” Mingyu takes it and gulps it down while Minghao rubs his boyfriend’s back.

It’s a sweet gesture and it makes Jun feel a little jealous. A brief memory of middle school flashes in his mind, and it causes him to curl his hands on his lap. “I have no idea what the other person wants though.”

He realizes the obvious implications of what he has just said and although Minghao probably has him figured out, he’ll at least pull through with his act. “I mean, obviously since I don’t know the guy, but my friend doesn’t know what the other person wants either…is what I mean,” Jun adds lamely.

Minghao gives him a look, a cross between pity and understanding. Jun takes what he can get.

“Maybe your friend should ask them then. At least it’ll be out in the open,” Mingyu suggests.

Minghao nods, agreeing.

“They already gave a reason, but-” Jun sees the Wonwoo from last night - standing all relaxed with his weight all on his left leg and his expression completely neutral - casually bringing up the offer as a way to make up for what Jun did. Wonwoo is willing to try again but Jun can’t help but hesitate.

“-I guess my friend doesn’t feel like he deserves this second chance…” Jun looks to the ground.

“Isn’t it straightforward though? That person gave your friend a chance and he wants to take it. As long as they’re honest with each other from now on, what’ll be the problem?” Jun looks up and Mingyu simply stares back.

Minghao shakes his head at the taller boy. “It’s not always that simple, Mingyu.”

“Ah, but, isn’t it?” Mingyu says matter-of-factly.

Jun blinks and it’s a Eureka moment. “It is, isn’t it?”

Mingyu smirks, with his arms crossed and looks over at Minghao. “See? Hyung agrees with me.”

Minghao rolls his eyes and pushes Mingyu’s head away. “Alright, you dork,” he laughs.

Jun smiles. “It’s not that it’s simple, but it is straightforward. I guess honesty does go a long way.” If emitting the truth is what set them apart, then maybe the truth can bring them back together. Jun quickly reminds himself that by ‘together’, he means their friendship.

“Thanks, you two.”

Mingyu places chopsticks neatly next to his bowl. He coughs and flashes a wide grin, the sort with all his teeth out, at Jun. “Hope it works out for your friend!”

“Yeah, good luck. To your friend, I mean.” Minghao gives him a small smile.

Jun’s cheeks tint scarlet. “I hope it’ll go well too.”

Jun finishes the rest of his meal in a few more bites. Mingyu gathers their bowls and Jun helps him carry them to the sink, insisting on washing the dishes. They get into a simple routine of Jun scrubbing the dishware while Mingyu rinses and dries. Mingyu hums a couple of songs. Jun can recognize maybe some of them being on the radio.

When they’re halfway through, Mingyu suddenly stops his concert and turns to Jun, “By the way, hyung, I started reading the book you’re starring in-”

Minghao snorts all the way from the dining table. “You can’t star in a book.”

“Ah, this guy, nothing escapes you, can it?” Mingyu clicks his tongue, but is also looking at the other boy tenderly.

Mingyu focuses back on Jun and continues,“Anyway, this Red Prince character - I really can’t imagine you as him. You’re like, way too nice.”

A giggle comes out of Jun. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“I mean, like this guy is ruthless and everything. Hyung, you, on the other hand, were like excitedly showing me pictures of baby kittens the other day!”

Jun gets defensive. “Hey, you liked them!”

Mingyu’s chortle fills the rest of the room. “Yeah! But the point is, you’re so pure-hearted, I just can’t see it.”

Jun chuckles. Mingyu’s the nice one, he thinks. He gives Mingyu a lop-sided smirk alongside a raised brow. It’s his classic killer look in his dramas. “Well, I guess you’ll have to wait for the movie.”

 

-

It’s been four days since they last met.

Wonwoo’s week has actually mostly been free. He had worked on a lot of requirements the week before so that he could have more time to hang out with his friends, but he didn’t expect he’d use any of that time to meet up with Jun.

Despite all the doubts plaguing his mind, Wonwoo has decided that the best thing to do is just to see how it goes. He can pull back if it gets too hard. He gets pass for that. He can still call an ‘out’ - and the Jun he knows (or the one he chooses to believe in) will comply.

They had already planned all their meetings from hereon out over the internet the day after they met. It works because it’s efficient for them both, but it’s even better because Wonwoo would know exactly how much time he has to prepare for each time they meet ( he’s doing a lot of breathing exercises and reminding himself why he did this in the first place, and so far, it seems to work).

And so here he is at apartment 717 of Pledis Apartments at 4 p.m., ready or not-so-ready to kill time with his ex.

Jun had sent him the address last night and he has looked at it skeptically. Jun lives right beside Mingyu and Minghao’s unit. The former of his two dongsaeng is his orgmate and has been telling him how they have a new neighbour that occasionally eats dinner with them. Mingyu has described them as a funny, but quiet hyung who shows him the ‘most adorable images he’s ever seen’. Minghao also seems to like them a lot, and has said they’re sort of like a kid despite being older. His affection is endearing, Minghao says. Wonwoo can’t actually believe the universe is conspiring against him with linking Jun to many of his friends.

The next thing he’ll know is that his org president wrote the book and handpicked Jun or something for the movie. Hah.

He knows Mingyu has some late-night architecture class tonight while Minghao has some major plates due, so both will be coming home late if ever. He’ll probably not even see them and it eases his worries. It’ll be hard to explain, or rather awkward, why a Chinese superstar is actually his middle school ex-boyfriend.

He rings the doorbell and immediately stuffs his hands in his coat’s pockets. His fists are curled up tight. 

A second or two pass and he sees the door being pushed towards him. A bare-faced Jun with no accessories or darkness hiding his features at all stare right up at him. He’s wearing a baby blue sweater and a little voice in Wonwoo’s head reminds him that it’s Jun’s favorite color (or was, Wonwoo doesn’t know now). Wonwoo can’t believe he remembers such a small detail. 

He can’t tell if it’s the sun’s rays but Jun’s cheeks are brushed pink and Wonwoo aptly stops himself from thinking that the other boy is glowing. Wonwoo still curses the world for giving Jun godly genetics.

“Ah, hey, you’re, uh, punctual.” Jun tucks some of his hair behind his hair and it reminds Wonwoo of all the times Jun would do so right before a play performance. Jun’s nervous too.

“Ah, yeah. Hi.”

“Oh! Come in!” Jun moves to the side and raises his arm, gesturing Wonwoo to come in.

Wonwoo gingerly steps into the room. He sees that the hallway is practically empty except for the boots by the entrance way. He supposes that since Jun is only staying here temporarily, he hasn’t really thought of decorating the place - not that he should have the time anyway.

He finds the living/dining room. It consists of one table in the middle of the room with a small kitchen to the side. There are two doors: one Wonwoo guesses leads to the bedroom, and the other, a glass sliding door leading to a small balcony.

Wonwoo scans the room. The walls are bare of any paintings or posters and the lack of personalized items inside Jun’s space just feels so unnerving.

The Jun Wonwoo knew was a hoarder. He’d collect all sort of trinkets and keep them or give them to his friends. He’d take pictures, as best as he can, of animals on the streets, the scenery, or literally anything that piqued his interest. Jun would print some of them out and stick them on a huge illustration board he placed in his bedroom.

Jun, who has been slowly following behind him, suddenly overtakes and heads to the kitchen cupboard. “Have you eaten? Do you want any snacks? Tea?”

Wonwoo puts up his hands. “It’s fine, I don’t want to impose.”

Jun quickly turns around. “No! I mean, no, it’s fine.” He rubs the back of his neck and avoids Wonwoo’s gaze. His whole face’s color is comparable to a tomato.

“It’s fine,” he says finally as he meets Wonwoo’s eyes. They turn soft as Jun smiles sheepishly.

Wonwoo is stunned for a moment. As soon as he realizes that, he quickly snaps out of it and shakes his head. “I’m really okay, no worries.”

“So, you can sit here.” Jun gestures the small cushions under the low-lying table.

Wonwoo follows Jun and sets his backpack on the floor before attempting to sit down. He doesn’t know which would be stranger - sitting formally on top of his legs or really casually with his legs crossed. He chides himself. He’s overthinking it. Friends are casual, right? Obviously it’s the latter.

He finally settles into position and he sees that Jun has done the same on the opposite side of the table. Wonwoo gives the room another scan. “It’s actually pretty cozy here, huh?”

Jun inspects the room thoughtfully.“Yeah, though it’d be nice to have a proper chair. The floor’s really comfortable so sometimes, instead of working, I end up napping an hour or two.” Wonwoo scoffs.

Jun brings his arms to the table and places his chin on one of his hands. He grins. “Maybe you should buy me a chair as a housewarming gift.”

Wonwoo snorts. It makes Jun let out a small chuckle but he hastily covers it up with a cough.

That short moment of non-awkwardness was nice while it lasted. Jun coughs again and brings his hands back to his lap. He fidgets and a whole 10 seconds pass by before he opens his mouth.

“Uh, you know, to be honest…” Jun’s downcast eyes finally look up to face him.

“I was really happy when you offered your help, and I hope that somehow, we can become friends again.” Wonwoo’s taken aback. He hasn’t been sure if Jun simply wanted to make up for his mistake or if he wanted the same thing Wonwoo has been yearning for - their friendship back.

It relieves Wonwoo.

“And I just thought, it didn’t seem right to just say that over the net, so yeah,” Jun continues

After the initial surprise, Wonwoo starts to wonder when Jun became so straightforward. Is it because now, he knows what words to use unlike before? Jun had been big on gestures back then when he couldn’t get the right words out. Or has he maybe gained courage to speak out from his current career?

If Jun feels the same way, that’s one less thing to worry about. He raises his right hand and looks pointedly at Jun.

“Shall we shake on it?”

Jun stifles a laugh. “You’re still into the whole shaking hands things, huh?”

“That’s how deals are naturally made, Jun.You either sign something or shake on it,” Wonwoo says in a very serious tone. “I don’t make the rules.”

The other boy scoffs before he starts chortling. “Alright, alright. Do we have to say something before we shake like before?”

 _Like before_  - Jun is making a casual reference to their past. Wonwoo takes it as a good sign that even though they’re starting anew, they’re not going to act that the past they share never happened.

“Just say it in your head. It’s too embarrassing to say it out loud.”

Wonwoo extends his hand towards Jun and Jun takes it. They haven’t held hands in 5 years and Jun’s have definitively changed. One, they are much larger, with Jun’s palm easily matching Wonwoo’s own. And two, Jun’s fingers are longer, more slender, and they easily wrap around Wonwoo’s. Wonwoo feels Jun’s fingertips touch the back of his own. They’re hardened with callouses, and he briefly wonders what work Jun must have done to get them.

Wonwoo shifts his focus back to the other man’s face instead. Jun’s eyes are closed and all is silent. Wonwoo can suddenly hear his heartbeat and consciously tries to slow it down.

He shuts his eyes close. _I promise to properly become friends again with Wen Junhui._

His heartbeat drums in his ears, and Wonwoo hopes that Jun doesn’t feel his pulse from his hands because it’s going a bit crazy. He doesn’t feel anything particularly from Jun so maybe he really is just thinking so much. He internally sighs. He opens one of his eyes to peek at Jun. The latter is still, almost like a sculpture. A sculpture whose warmth is replacing the touch of the autumn cold from his hands. It then hits Wonwoo that his pledge is incomplete.

 _And not fall in love with him again,_  he adds.

He opens his eyes again to see Jun staring at him and immediately getting flustered being caught doing so. Jun takes back his hand.

Wonwoo’s hand feels like it’s burning.

 _And not fall in love with him again,_  he reminds himself.

“This has been the weirdest handshake I’ve ever had,” Jun states, a few chuckles escaping him.

Wonwoo shrugs.

-

To be completely honest, Wonwoo hadn’t expected much. He’s seen Jun perform before in the drama club, and while decent, it hadn’t been particularly impressive or anything. Okay, maybe there was that one performance that he had done pretty well as its prince, but that was pretty much it. He could have never imagined the scene in front of him now.

The air of confidence, the cocky tone in every word, the sheer poise of a prince he has in every action - it’s like The Red Prince has come to life in the small apartment.

The moment passes and eventually, Jun reverts back his normal self. His good posture disappear and his shoulders slacken; the smirk on his face is replaced with an unassuming smile; and his cocky tone in talking has been brought from level 500 back to level 1.

“So, how was it? I’ve been practicing that opening scene for weeks for the audition.” Jun looks expectantly at Wonwoo.

“It was good.” And that is an understatement.

“Really?”Jun bites his lip and his mouth curves upwards. A pleasant aura of pride exudes from him. Wonwoo feels his ears turning red.

“Yeah, you’re…” _Like a whole different person._  “…really good.”

Jun’s is now grinning from ear to ear. The actor Jerry Moon, is indeed a very good one and is able to transform into his roles completely. However, the man he sees in front of him, Wen Junhui, still smiles the same way as the boy from five years ago.

“I think you understand the Daejung from the start of the book really well.” Wonwoo says, avoiding the troublesome thoughts now flooding his mind.

Jun heaves a big sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s such a complex character so I’ve been worried of my characterization of him.”

Wonwoo recalls their conversation from that night. Jun seemed to greatly admire Daejung. Wonwoo can relate, of course.

“Is he your favorite character too?”

Jun settles back into his seat. “I like Daejung a lot but I like Chinsun better. I’m also rooting for her more.” He claps for emphasis, and lets his fingers interlace with each other.

Wonwoo blinks. Anyone who’s read and finished the novel knows that Nari ends up with her childhood best friend Chinsun and rejects Daejung’s confession. His eyebrows furrow.

A lot of people have been fighting over the ending. It has basically been the enemies-to-lovers pairing squad versus the friends-to-lovers pairing squad. Wonwoo has always favoured the latter despite it being against his favorite character’s interest. Chinsun for Nari had been a haven. She was Nari’s home, her soft place to land, the peace she had in a world that expected too much for her. She was the comfort who accepted everything about Nari but still knew when to call out on her bullshit.

If Wonwoo delves deep into his mind, they reminded him of how they were in middle school. He chooses to push it out of his mind. Still, Jun almost sounds like he hasn’t finished the book, which, in Wonwoo’s mind, sounds ridiculous. How can you play a role you only know half about? Jun isn’t planning to half-ass this movie, is he?

“Hey, could it be that you haven’t read the whole book yet?” It comes out a lot more accusatory than he intends. Thankfully, Jun doesn’t seem to mind or notice it.

The other boy shakes his head. “Not yet, I’ve only read as much as the movie needed me to.”

 _Not yet._  

“It took me a couple of months to read once through those parts and another couple to really internalize what was happening.”

Wonwoo internally takes back his thoughts ( _Sorry Jun_ , he says in his mind). Jun is far from doing this half-heartedly. The book isn’t even in Jun’s first language and yet he has taken on this project and spent months working at it. He’s ashamed he looked down on Jun for that instant. Maybe it’s the part of him that’s still mad at Jun - it’s easier to think someone did something horrible to you if they’re not such a good person; it really stings like betrayal when you know that they are.

“Even if the movie doesn’t get a sequel, I’ll still probably try to read the rest.”

“You kept studying Korean even when you went back?” Wonwoo asks so softly that it’s almost a whisper. Jun opens his mouth and closes it again. Wonwoo’s positive he heard him.

“Uh,” Jun pauses. “Yeah.”

 _Why?_ Unless Jun had any intentions to come back, he’d have no reason to keep on learning. Wonwoo chides himself. He’s looking too much into it. Maybe Jun just wanted to not waste what he had already learned. He shouldn’t be so self-centered enough to think Jun would do this for him.

 _I’m not the reason_ , Wonwoo decides.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Wonwoo changes the topic. “So, why is Chinsun your favorite?”

Jun hums. His features start to soften as the sunset’s rays stream through the balcony door’s curtains and hits his figure. It almost looks like his entirety is glowing. “I like how she’s honest and loyal. She stands firm for what she believes in and refuses to lose faith in Nari even when everything seems against her. She’s just…really strong-hearted and I admire her for that.”

The light fades and Jun notices how the outside has turned dark. He checks his phone.

“Oh, it’s already this late?” Wonwoo glances at his watch. It’s almost 6 p.m. Dinner at the dorm will start soon. He can’t believe he’s been here for two hours already.

Jun turns to him. “Do you…want to get dinner or delivery or something?”

“Oh, I have some food back at the dorm so...” Wonwoo trails off.

“Oh, no, it’s alright. Maybe next time..or something.” Jun looking disheartened is not what Wonwoo expects. He almost wants to stay. Almost.

“Yeah, next time.” For the last time, he takes another look around the apartment. Nothing about it really screams ‘JUN’ in his head except the person himself. Besides physically, Jun seems like quite himself, and yet Wonwoo knows he isn’t. He’s scared, he admits. He’s scared to get to know more about the current Jun and see how he has changed.

It’s been comforting him to see that for the most part, he hasn’t. That, however, brings forth another problem.

Jun walks him to the door. “Hey Wonwoo. Thanks for this. Thank you…for giving me another chance.”

Wonwoo feels his heart racing. Jun doesn’t look away from him as quickly as Wonwoo thought he would. He feels compelled to say something.

“You’ve also really helped me gain more confidence for this role. I appreciate it a lot.” Jun brings him out of his thoughts. The other boy shifts his gaze to the door panel.

“A-and if you ever need a favor, I’ll do my best to help you out,” Jun hastily asks.

A favor? It dawns on Wonwoo that he has yet to ask Jun on why he left. Wonwoo should just ask to get it done and over with. Get it out in the open for him to deal. Yet, he wants to leave this currently ‘we’re alright’ feeling between them, at least for this first night. _Next time_ , he promises himself.

“I’ll see you next time, then.” Jun cuts off his thoughts.

“Yeah, next time.” Wonwoo gives a small smile.

And there it is. Jun smiles. His lips curve upwards, revealing his dimple on one side, while his eyes shut close and his whole face wrinkles. It’s not one of those troubled, fake “I’m fine” ones. It’s the ‘I’m genuinely just so so happy right now” ones. Wonwoo recognizes it and remembers its fucking power over him. It’s looks absolutely endearing and blows the air out of him. All the alert signs in him turn on. They’re all yelling at his head, in a voice that sounds much like Jeonghan-hyung when Wonwoo gets scolded, that he’s entered dangerous territory. Wonwoo swallows thickly.

“Take care, Wonwoo.”

“Bye,” he mutters.

As soon as the door closes, he walks briskly to the staircase. His heart is beating like crazy, and he can feel the sweat sticking to his clothes even though it’s 20 degrees out here. He really did think he was doing fine up to this point, but if one of _those_  smile can rile him up like that, how will he survive through a thousand more (because Wonwoo knows that Jun loves smiling and teasing and he’s sure that’s bound to happen now that that they’ve agreed to officially try to reclaim their friendship).

He sits by the staircase and wails into his hands. He says he’s okay with the friendship but he’s starting to hate himself for letting his heart, for that one millisecond, want more.

 

-

The first semester is ending and it’s been more or less five months since he’s met Junhui. Wonwoo can’t pinpoint when but somewhere along the way, something has changed between them. When he sees Junhui, he feels as if he’s in one of the daytime dramas his parents watch where flowers appear around random characters and they seem a hundred times prettier or something.

Wonwoo can’t explain the feeling with accuracy. Literal flowers never appear, but Jun just sort of glows. He’s the first thing Wonwoo sees anywhere and when he smiles, oh when he smiles - it’s like knowing the sun’s warmth for the first time. His chest tightens, his heart beats fast, and there’s heat creeping up on his neck and face whenever Jun is around.

They can converse just fine, and they make silly jokes as usual, but the moment they’re only inches apart, Wonwoo feels like whatever has been quietly growing within him could spill out at any moment.

Wonwoo thinks he has an inkling of what’s going on. In all honesty, he has more than an inkling, especially with how Soonyoung badgers him about it. His best friend mentions the new kid so much that Wonwoo almost thinks he’s the ones with feelings for Jun, not him.

Him. Feelings. Jun. Wonwoo knows he’s screwed big time.

-

They stargaze at their usual spot even though the weather report says there’s a 50% chance of rain. Jun doesn’t seem to mind. The sky is a deep dark blue, with some hulking groups of clouds here and there. The rain seems likely but Jun looks perfectly content to be by Wonwoo’s side in spite of it. At least, that’s what Wonwoo likes to think.

“We’re passed the 7th of 7th , but Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo still shine pretty brightly, huh.” Jun has grown to love the simple story. His eyes shine when he talks about them. It makes a fluttery sensation wash over Wonwoo’s body.

Wonwoo coughs to distract himself. “I looked it up, Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo represent the stars called ‘Altair’ and ‘Vega’.”

“Altair and Vega, huh? Those are really pretty names too.” Jun’s face lights up and Wonwoo is glad that it’s too dark to see that his face is beet red.

“It’s still the Chilseok season, so you can make a wish while praying to them.” Wonwoo brings up his hand to point the two stars out. “They say that if it doesn’t rain the next day, your wish would come true.”

Jun’s pupils dilate, as they often do when he’s excited. Wonwoo feels weak in the knees. “Eh, really? What are you wishing for then?”

Wonwoo involuntary snickers and Jun pouts. “You can’t tell anyone about it or it won’t come true, Jun. That’s like the basic wish-making rule.”

“Like tell someone face-to-face? Can I talk about the wish if it’s written down instead?” Jun asks.

Wonwoo shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe?”

The boy starts to scribble on some notebook paper and folds it neatly into a small rectangle. Jun looks as if he’s shining as he shows Wonwoo his finished piece, holding it up with both hands.

“Here.” Jun says softly, which hasn’t happened much ever since they became closer and started this stargazing routine. He hands Wonwoo the paper. Wonwoo looks at him questioningly and Jun simply brings his face to his knees and smiles all knowingly.

Wonwoo opens it up to find a single sentence.

“I hope Wonwoo and myself will bind like Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo,” he reads aloud.

Jun looks at him expectantly but Wonwoo gives him a quizzed look in return.

“Do you mean ‘bond’?”

It takes Jun a few seconds to comprehend what Wonwoo means. When he does get it, Jun starts pushing his cheeks up and groans. “Ah, I messed up! It’s ‘bond’ not ‘bind’!”

“So, what do you mean you want to bond like they do?”

Jun looks at him. He’s face is all scrunched up and despite Wonwoo’s current confusion, the first thing he thinks of is how cute the other boy looks.

“I like you, and you were supposed to get it, but I messed up the words, and I can’t look at your right now.” Jun proceeds to turn away and he buries his face in his hands.

Wonwoo approaches the other boy and places one hand on Jun’s arm. “Hey, Junnie, look at me.”

“No way!”

“Hey, c’mon.” Wonwoo takes both of Jun’s arms and tugs at them. Without much force, he pulls them apart.

“There we go.” Jun keeps his eyes on the ground and refuses to look at him. Wonwoo figures that there is only one appropriate thing to do. As nervous as he is, he gathers up all his courage and says it out loud.

“I like you too.”

A beat passes. Silence. Jun slowly brings his face up to look at Wonwoo.

“Really?” It comes out like a squeak. Jun’s face is a crimson scarlet, barely noticeable under the moonlight, but his eyes, wide and brown, are shining. Wonwoo gets lost in them. Jun has totally pulled Wonwoo into his orbit and he sees no way out. He’ll either stay here forever or crash and burn like a falling star. At this moment, he has no doubt it’s the former.

Wonwoo’s sure his face is matching Jun’s now as he nods. The other boy ducks his head again and giggles. “Now, I really can’t look at you.”

Wonwoo snorts and starts to tickle him.  

It doesn’t take long for Jun to give up and he ends up wheezing on the ground, trying to catch breath. Wonwoo collapses right beside him, breathing heavily himself. He hears Jun rustle and turns to see the boy now on his side, facing him. He mirrors Jun’s position.

The moonlight shines on Jun and he sparkles in Wonwoo’s vision. Jun’s eyes wrinkle, and he smiles. It’s gotten Wonwoo breathless.

Jun opens his eyes and says softly, “I like you, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo’s heart bursts in happiness. He feels it filling the whole of him.

He nods in response and tackles the boy to the ground. He brings his arms to Jun’s back to hug him, his head resting on Jun’s shoulder. They stay like that for a while before Jun tugs the back of Wonwoo’s T-shirt. Wonwoo pushes himself apart from the other boy.

“So does this mean we’re…dating now?”

Yes? Wonwoo has never had experience on dating before but if two people like each other, why wouldn’t they date? It just seemed logica. Of course, there is only one way to make this official.

Wonwoo settles himself back to the ground and faces Jun. “Let’s shake on it.”

“Shake on it?”

Wonwoo nods. “Yeah, it’s like a spoken promise, if you break it, you live with the guilt forever.”

Wonwoo takes one of Jun’s hands and raises it up to their chest level. Jun’s hand is soft, he notes. The other boy looks at their hands and at Wonwoo’s face back and forth. Wonwoo smiles.

With a loud voice, he starts, “I promise to be a good boyfriend to Wen Junhui.”

Jun blinks and starts to turn away, his other hand attempting to cover the entirety of his face. His grip on Wonwoo’s hand, however, tightens.

The silence lasts around a quarter of a minute before Wonwoo starts to speak up.

“H-hey, you’re making me feel embarrassed for saying it out loud.”

Jun slowly turns around, his hand now simply covering his mouth. “I-I’m just really happy.” He brings himself closer to Wonwoo and moves his hand from his face to the other side of the hand holding Wonwoo’s. Jun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I promise to be the best boyfriend to Jeon Wonwoo!” He huffs out.

Wonwoo has completely been swept out of his feet. He stares at Jun steadying his breath. When they make eye contact, laughter bubbles out of him. Soon, the other boy starts to laugh too.

When they finally calm down, they’re lying on the grass, side-by-side, still clasping the other’s hand.

“Think you can walk the walk ‘til the end?” Wonwoo whispers.

“Of course.” He hears the smile in Jun’s voice.

Wonwoo smiles too. He believes in Jun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will I stop making Wonu suffer...ily bb HAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> Here's a guide to the characters of "The Stars are Dust" just in case you get confused:  
> Nari - the main character! Replaced her twin sister. (name means "Lily"; signifies humility and devotion)  
> Heeyoung - the 'child of prophecy', killed by the Red Prince (name means "joy and prosperity")  
> Daejung - The Red prince, Wonwoo's favorite character, Jun's role (name means "great and righteous")  
> Chinsun - Nari's childhood friend and endgame, Jun's favorite character (name means "the one who seeks truth and goodness")
> 
> Chapter 4 is...on its way,,,,,,,,,  
> Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment out your feelings hahaha

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @boonotboss :)


End file.
